The Weekly Stench 5/9-5/15

Weekly Stench with anti chill logo ff

I’m running out of time in this space hell, surrounded by butt plug shaped creatures and Danny Devito caricatures , So click in your seat belts because I’m about to unleash these Skeletons from your fathers closet with a spam of infinite nuke shaped buffalo wings in this episode of The Weekly Stench with NO CHILL.

The Biggest Thing Since Chloe’s Ass

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Daaaaaaang No Chill, back at it again to destroy another fuckin holy place, just by being present, is our main man Nathan Drake with his final grand adventure coming to the PS4 this Tuesday with one of the best cinematic technical experiences of the year, well at least, that’s what the reviews have been gauging at. And no matter how many times they stick their fingers in my eyes all I see is excellence from all around the web, as Sites claim it to be a masterpiece and the best Uncharted yet, so it’s a no brainer, You NO BRAIN, go get it NOW! I don’t care if it’s not out! Hold the clerk hostage until he gives you a copy ( No one at Epicpower Gaming condones taking anything at gun point, now holding someone up with a banana, now that’s a whole nother story.). And make sure he gives you that over priced collectors edition console too, it’s going to be a dead gen box either way in a few months, Neo what I’m saying? You get it? because the new PlayStation is called PS4 Neo…… FINE, I’ll MOVE ON! I swear no one respects art now days.

This Is My Doomstick! S-Mart’s Top Of The Line

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BOOOM! You flesh eating SCUMS OF BITCHES! We are back from the dead with this remake, not remake/ more of a sequel, but not a sequel to the sequels more of a remake of the sequels, but not really, it’s somewhere in their or something like that the game! Mmmmm With a snap lego like level creator and  non stop  glorious action packed mayhem, how can you go wrong with the most No Chill game ever created. One Man, One Hell, No Gods, just you and every single one of your demons going mano a mano for one last ride, ohhh baby let’s get the party started, this is one game you will want to pick up straight out of the shelves, because you sure won’t be disappointed with ID’s new adaptation of the Doom franchise. A game you surely want to play on PC with that nerdy 1440p 144 hertz monitor you have right above your fap shrine of Miley Cyrus wearing Christopher Walkins skin. MMMMM!!!! And if you need all that goody goody waffle trollops to be in physical form you will have one sexy collectors edition to look forward to, which features one of the games most difficult enemies who sets on top of a turbine that has spinning fans inside with a hint of red leds to spook you in the night for just $119.99.

The Most Dank Pool Party Since Carson Daily Hosted TRL

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Yes! We are back my friends, but this time we bring you a shit infested pool, drowning in the most overkill top of the line puns you have ever had the grace to  experience with your lovely mother who if you stare closely enough will notice that she once blew your father with those lips. And you can place those sin infested lips in your dvd collection, because we are finally getting the Deadpool physical edition instead of that shitty digital torrent these companies keep trying to hock at you. Who are they fooling, the only reason they want us to go virtual with these digital movie collections are so they can bitcoin mine there way out of our pockets, so they can make another Birdgets Jones Diary film. But No CHILL SAYS FUCK THAT! Let’s show those environment loving hippies a thing or two and buy us some good old Cancer causing plastic, that we will pawn off at the flea market for 50 cents in about 4 years. AMEN! And you can own this cancer for only…….. ( Here at Epicpower Gaming we do not condone the selling of cancer.)

Bon Jovi Kicks Ass And The Pope Knows It

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Don’t forget the unmentionables, because everyone has to take out their dirty laundry every once in a while, And this is as dirty as it gets, a massive ultra customizable space epic, in strategy form has tried to sneak by us like that slightly used sock you keep hidden from mother, but sneak into the washer while she’s looking away, because NO CHILL and Epicpower Gaming has your back, to keep this sexy gem from slipping by your radar. Conquer planets, empires, warships, species, do what ever your heart desires as you keep your mother imprisoned in that airlock you have always dreamed of launching her out of. Just kidding, not really, maybe, lets get on with it. Stellaris will let you customize your empire , basically the whole game, inside and out is your sandbox, that you can nick at for hours upon hours before you can even get to gameplay as you get your sigils, names, species appearance exactly the way you want . This is as good as it gets or at least as good as it’s going to get if you have ever wanted to grasp a space 4x grand strategy in the mist of your clutches, so give it a try you filthy Brown Coat.

 

That’s it this week children and who ever is letting their children to continue to watch this program, will your shitty parents and that’s why we love you, remember, great minions are made from great mistakes. YEAH I KNOW YOUR MAD, AHAHAHAHAHHA NO CHILL OUT!

{ We will like to give our most sincere apologies if No Chill has offended you in any way possible, we have no control over his actions or what he may say.}