Jesus Franklin Christ! Monday already? How about we all gather together propel our arms as fast as we can and give the world an old whirly bird Fuck you!! On this episode of The Weekly Stench with NO CHILL. No!? you’re too tired for that shit? Well, I got you covered with our first aroma drenched stench of the week, Hit em with the bass Freddie Prince JR.
Are you tired of your boss always taking advantage of you as he goes through your drawers and sniff your erotic colored panties? Are you fed up with your gram gram banging all your college friends, even though you should of been out of the University 30 years ago? ARE YOU TIRED OF THE LIES FED TO YOU BY THE LOCAL GOVERNMENT WHEN IT COMES TO THE TRUTH OF PANCAKES TRULY BEING BETTER THAN WAFFLES? Well, if you said yes to all those above, just like your main man NO CHILL did, then I got just the thing for you my friends, I mean my scummy toe nail growing brethren. Because today I got the holy of holy of arsenals ready to be deployed onto your enemies like a payload falling upon you from the sack of a twelve year old boy calling you homophobic slurs as he bring you to tears in your mothers basement….. ha just kidding……. I don’t play games from the basement……. that’s where I hide the bodies…… Forget what I just said. And focus on this little baby, that will only cost you a measly twenty, but the catch is that this was sold out for a while, yes it isn’t actually a new product, but more of a recently stocked item an item that you want to acquire before it goes out of stock, because that is why it wasn’t in stock in the first place because everyone bought it so it wouldn’t have been in stock…….. FUCK OFF!!!!
Let us get serious for a moment….. No matter what, in a situation where you fear and are unknowing of the occurrences around you, it is never right to assume the imaginable and use it as an excuse to stone anyone, especially if you assume them to be a witch….. Instead….. Stone them because it’s freaking hilarious…. hahaha… look at them twitch… oh don’t hit me, it hurts, whaaaa whaaa whaaa, you don’t hear me crying after having too much to eat and there is still one last piece of pizza remaining that I must finish, right? So their should be no reason for you to be crying either! ya whimp! Fine! Fine! Okay kids don’t stone your friends, even though it’s fun and shows how much you appreciate them as a human being, instead pick up a copy of THE WITCH which comes out this Tuesday and is available for pre order on Amazon for only $16.99. A story of a coming of age girl (not really). Who falls in love with a man eating goat ( You are way off), It’s like a cannibalistic version of a John Hughes film, but only the goat is played by Molly Ringwald instead of the other way around (Why the fuck did we hire you). Such a beautiful film, I recommend you playing it for your classmates after you tie your teacher up and stone her with a few…. (NOOOOOO). MOVIN ON!
Boom! Lets skip Homefront, I am pretty sure it had a few chances to wow us, but in case you have been anticipating it, it is also out this week, but let us move onto greater things. Continuing with the horror theme of The Witch is the new DLC for Fallout 4, Far Harbor. This time around you get a contract through Valentines agency to find a missing woman off the coast where there is a secret colony of synths…… OH GOD! THE FUCKING BEEEEES! No, it can’t be! Can it? I swear if Bethesda re-creates the Wickerman, I will bust a nut on every VHS copy of Jerry Maguire I have laying around in my apartment. Which basically means a house full of jizz. So make sure to download it as soon as possible when it becomes available on the 19th, but in all seriousness, let’s go back to Homefront Revolution. Give it a chance, it is not being developed or published, by the old company and team behind the first, so there might be a chance it actually comes out amazing. But then again, It might be a little much too ask for, when it comes to a gamer on a budget, so make sure to check out some Twitch streams tomorrow as it comes out on the 17th.
That’s about all folks, but just in case you missed it, FINAL FANTASY X/X-2 HD Remaster came out last week and next week is the big anticipated launch of the GTX 1080. KRAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG~!!!!! Remember to let us know what you anticipate most this week in your day and life or just shoot the shit in the comments.