Evening ladies and gentlemen. Stalinsaurus here again with my feelings, opinions, and thoughts on Assassins Creed III: Fuck Yeah America: The Game: The Sequel. I know a lot of people are real riled up from the presidential whatevers the other day, so lets take our minds off that and delve into something else.
A tomahawk. The CLASSIC Indian weapon. Way to go.
Okay. So first I must mention that I did not play Revelations. I played all the others, and aside from the Desmond bits, I dont think I missed too much by skipping a game. Anywho, AC3 takes place in the mid 18th century primarily in Boston and New York (and also some woods in between). You play as a couple different characters, but the main one is our new cover boy, Connor. His real name is something like Tutehnkahmen:dio, but I guess Ubisoft didnt think we were cool enough to use real life Injun names, so they gave him a white boy name. You get to play as a ten year old versioin of yourself, running around the woods doing regular Indian stuff for a little while, you know, hunting, killing, hiding, that is, until the WHITE MAN comes to take your land! Some scruffy dude with a sweet hat tells you that you have SARS and must now time travel to the future to kill him! He kills your mother and sets sail for 1776. Young Connor must now take the Master Sword from the pedestal and become an adult. Once in the future, you take a spirit journey with the local hag. You meet an old bro named Achilles who gives you all that sweet sweet assassin loot.
This is when the killings begin.
If youve ever played World of Warcraft, youve heard the phrase, “if its red, its dead”. This goes doubly so for AC3. You literally could be the nicest brit ever, maybe you got drafted into being a Boston guard by a corrupt government and you have no interest in fighting. maybe you joined just to help feed your family. Maybe you joined because you were a rogue teenager on the run with nowhere else to go. Connor does not discriminate. You are British and he is a savage Indian. He will kill you in the most embarassing way possible, and then steal any money you had. Your life for Ner’zhul.
The next three years are spent happily murdering brits and fighting for your country. Theres not really a plot as far as I can tell. I think youre just a mad Indian who wants revenge on the white man. Theres some names and stuff to pay attention to, but the only names you need to know are Connor, and corpse. Because those are the only two characters in this game.
Thats really all I’ve got to say about the single player for now. Im hoping they add a scalping minigame as DLC. It could really help push AC3 to be the best installation of the series.
On to the Multiplayer.
I played a lot of Brotherhoods MP, and had good times with it. At its core, youre dressed as one of 11 or 12 civilians that are copy pasted into each level. You have a picture in the corner of who youre looking for, and a radar based off line of sight. Sometimes youll have a target AND youll be a target, which can be scary. You have to get good at noticing the differences in an AI and a real persons movements. PRO TIP: AI never runs around in circles, kill those people first. There are soem really exciting moments in the MP, but you will always be left with the feeling that you either just played against someone who was functionally retarded, or that the game is broken in favor of everyone else. You know, just like every other online game ever.
There are game types, but lets be honest, every gametype boils down to :kill and dont be killed. Its like the Predator movies. You gotta cover yourself in mud so that they cant use heatseeker vision to see you.
Time to be Serious
Okay, so as with other games, ill name off as many good and as many bad things about the game as I can.
1. The change up of scenery is really nice. Renaissance Italy was getting somewhat stale in my opinion. The addition of trees to the freerunning palette added a whole nuther method of locomotion.
2. New character, new story. Its nice to finally be in a different universe rather than Ezios, which was also getting old. Connor has a fairly compelling storyline, although I dont think I enjoy it as much as I did previous installments.
3. It actually forces you to be stealthy more than in previous games. This is a good thing for a stealth game. No running around like a fool.
4. Naval warfare. While it has a “tacked on just so more people will buy it” kind of feeling, its actually pretty neato at first. That said, its shit after a while. Tedious.
6. Hunting can be interesting. Just like in Red Dead Redemption, bears and cougars are scary shit.
7. The Homestead area. Its kinda like the castle you managed in 2 (or Brotherhood, I dont remember). Only this ones an entire zone. You recruit settlers and shit, they make you items, you can send out convoys and get taxed like crazy. Its cool stuff.
8. Thats about it.
Dont think the game will ever be this epic or pretty during actual gameplay.
1. The graphics look like total fucking garbage. Let me elaborate. I saw someone complaining that, at large distances, the ground looks like MS paint graphics. This is true. BUT the game also looks like ass close up a lot of times. Plenty of jaggies and models clipping through stupid shit. Plenty of times during cutscenes that were out in the open, I would have NPCs who were doing their regular walking routines walk straight through me or whoever I was speaking with. When you ride a horse, your cape goes straight through it. This is obviously due to having to rush out a new game every year, which is a trend that can go fuck itself.
2. They didnt really add any new gameplay features, (ie. abilities, items, mechanics other than treerunning). I guess theres not much they could do without jumping the shark, but they did that years ago already when they made the first game.
3. Sometimes the “stealth” is laughable. The FIRST mission has you in a theatre where your target is in one of the balcony seats in the very front of the theatre. (think Abraham Lincoln). You scale the walls of the theatre and pretty obviously make your way to the booth. This is just one of many situations where you make yourself completely obvious, but the AI cannot see you.
4. Garbage characters. The story is interesting, yes, but the characters are trash. Connor has no depth to him at all other than being a mad Indian seeking revenge. Shit, im not even sure if hes an assassin.
5. Let me preface this by saying I am not racist. But there are too many black people that are somehow in positions of power. In 1776 im pretty sure there were still slaves. Im assuming that, due to cultural barriers, Ubisoft didnt want to “go there” but, hey, its a free country and I can gripe about what I want.
6. Thats all I can think of right now!
Overall, the bads dont really outweigh the goods. Dont pick this up expecting it to be the best in the series, but its not the worst. It has solid missions, decent gameplay, and honestly, the hundreds of visual glitches are fucking hilarious if youre with a friend.
On the 88 star scale, I would give this game a solid 65. 65/88. Thats about an 8/10 on a “regular” scale.
Im not even going to talk about the Desmond parts of the game by the way. I have never paid attention to them and I also dont care.