Donald Trump: “I alone can fix Pokemon GO”

Pokemon GO Donald Trump

Donald Trump has been very outspoken a lot of issues and the fact that he might say something to surprising every time he opens his mouth is unsurprising. Except when he was asked if he played Pokemon Go.

“Of course I play Pokemon GO. I play it all the time. It’s the best. But Pokemon GO is losing users fast and it needs to be fixed. I alone can fix it. Believe me. Pokemon Go might not be the greatest app anymore, but we’re going to make it great, folks. We’re going to make Pokemon Go great again! “

I might not agree with a lot of what Donald Trump has to say, but the angry orange guy has a point when it comes to Pokemon Go; It’s broken and I’m losing interest so fast that I’m starting to pay attention to the 2016 election. I haven’t played the app since the tracker tools that were readily available online were taken down at the request of Niantic. While I agree to some extent that these sites were kind of cheating, it irked me that the feature to see where new Pokemon are was removed from the game without much attention from Niantic.

Is Niantic stalling on fixing Pokemon Go to help Hillary at the polls?

“It’s no secret that Niantic used to be owned by Google, folks. Google has been helping Hillary try to get the White House and I’m sure of it, and this is true, she wanted to put an end to Pokemon GO from the beginning! She knew how much it made people happy and Hillary doesn’t like happiness. But you know who does? Your friend Donald Trump. If I’m elected your President, I will build a wall around Google and make them pay for it! You know they can afford it, folks. We’ll take back Pokemon GO and make it ours again!”

I’m not really sure how true Donald Trump’s statement about Pokemon GO are but it does seem odd that the game started breaking one week before the DNC where Hillary accepted the Democratic Nomination for president of the United States. It’s a real shame that the game has dropped in popularity so fast. The game skyrocketed to the number one downloaded application of all time in less than a week, caused Nintendo’s stock to double and got people to go outside.

“Pokemon Go is good for the economy and it’s good for the United States. Believe me when I say it, folks, Pokemon GO captured the imagination of the American people and it’s good to see a product from an American company hailed as the best in the world. The whole world loves Pokemon, folks. And we have America to thank for that.”

Trump ended the press conference when it was brought to his attention that Pokemon is not an American IP. He also didn’t clearly state his 20 step plan to fix Pokemon GO but did say as he boarded his plane that he wants to bring the tracker back. “Killing third party tracking apps is killing small business and that’s SAD.”, Trump stated.  Trump is expected to post his plan on his website early next week. Hillary declined to comment, but her spokesperson did say “Hillary Clinton wants everyone to Pokemon GO to the polls. Wink”