Deadly Towers, Lizard Lords and The Salvation of Twitch

Mr. Twitch himself

Everyone remembers there very first memory on Twitch

It just happens to be, mine started with a super meaty charity stream featuring Danny B. and the cast of Team Meat, the Jean Jacket King Bobby V. and the future Illuminati Lizard Lord Jon The Dick Bump Carnage. It was the first exposure of what Twitch would end up being, before it was even an entity, back when it was still JTV. There was nobody else, just them, the pioneers of what would kick off to be the most sought after new form of celebrity-ism. Now days you can find a Twitch app on about any device, allowing streaming straight from your home consoles. Sharing personalities and gaming from one couch and TV screen to millions of other couches and TV screens, reaching out to places where gaming itself would cost you an arm and a leg, places where games are banned and illegal to posses due to old taboos around games causing violence among young adults and children. And to the gamers out of reach of freedom, Twitch created a gateway to a visual underground where the gamer can at least watch, the so called violent games they are held back from playing by their government.

Now lets skip a few pages

And de-frame ourselves from all this serious talk and political nonsense, that this article was totes not straying to becoming and let us focus ourselves on some real injustice, like Skateallday’s Jort Jorts, just kidding, but back to Nixie Pixel being intoxicated and being kept off stream, along with a few others, because in the Justin TV days, anything could happen, it was no holds barred and anything went. Turn the clock forward in time a bit and the charity stream would of got banned, for a simple crop top ( Carnage was probably wearing the crop top or it’s how I imagine him in every stream). Which was understandable, since due to Twitch’s popularity, it all of sudden stood in a place where all the hard work put into it could of crumbled into another cam girl, sex chat, video streaming like site ( R.I.P. Chat Roulette and Xbox 360’s Uno). Yes, people may still complain about boobie streamers or so, they are called, but I still remember the days, where a few guy gamers played shirtless for tips and subs, yeah, the male sex is no different. Though these restrictions where for the best, It still leaves you with a whole in your heart knowing that the moments we had on P.A.D. Live, where John Carnage stripped all the way to his underwear for a charity stream, dancing around, humping manikins, even licking Jonathon holmes armpit for a few bucks, will never be lived up to, by any other streamer ever again, for the entirety of Twitch….. or so we thought.

We all talk about the Dtoid/RSVPLAY/PAD days

As we continue to live in the past, and have the casual “no stream will ever live up to the expectations P.A.D. set” conversations among each other, but since then there have been casters and streams that have pushed through Twitch regulations and worked through it’s comfort zone and made themselves comfortable without the need for chaos, it lead to new faces and new bearers of the crown, the title of King and Ruler that was once held by one man, was split amongst a vast school of FailFishes, which created a ripple, that eventually became a wave of Epicness, that helped splash out the great entertainers inside us all, people who had no idea, that this could be “me”, became the person they use to look up to on G4TV, It gave us clips and a lifetime of laughter from Influencers such as Spamfish, Lt Zonda, OrbitalStar, StreamerHouse, LeahLovesChief, FFSTV and hundreds of other talented beings, that bleed purple each and every day along side us through our monitors and TV’s. It was a marvelous sight to see, The possibility to be as popular as the nerd you use to watch on your television screen, but eventually the Heirs to the Throne, became just that, Lonely Kings and Queens, sitting on their DX sponsored Racer chairs, DX Casters, just streaming and sitting, communicating with the chat, like a casual gaming session you would have with one of your own pals, which is what initially made Twitch the juggernaut it is today, but it was the death of the Lizard Lords and the White Castle Fiends, it was the end of people actually trying and attempting to earn your time and pleasure, It was the end of fun streams.?

Was it the end? or just an opinion

More like a gap that needed to be breached, there was an audience out there asking for a bit of the past, so eventually Twitch caught on, but before they did, came swinging streams such as HyperRPG, GeekandSundry and Bennyfitz, leading to a surge of new creative ways of streaming, before creative was even an option for streaming. Bob Ross, Oscars, cooking streams, social eating, Twitch In Real Life, All of sudden Twitch dude bro’d all over the gaming scene, like ” Do you even lift bro?” Made streaming Pokemon go at the park and gathering with like minded people and sharing it live with the rest of your like minded community at home, possible through the power of streaming. It was like Twitch walked YouTube off it’s plank, crazy glued the captains hat on it’s head and steared out an expansion pack greater than every combined World Of Warcraft expansion Blizzard has ever released. Then they forged a pot where all those communities could mix, a convention like no other, avoiding catering to developers and refusing to spam hordes of gaming kiosks after gaming kiosks, making it a con focused solely on the community that kept it running for the last few years. Molding a feeling of “Family Picnic” over San Diego Comic Cons advertised filled cesspool and never ending lines. ( oh’ noes he din’t).

We’ve seen our little purple Glitch known as Twitch grow from childhood to adulthood

Grow out of one dank meme to the next, but one thing that has never changed, is the community, the love and tireless sleep of building an Oasis far greater than what we could imagine, leaping over each and every obstacle that has stumbled in front of us. The term Gamer has become a world wide label, for anyone who enjoys any type of variation of gaming. Smartphones, consoles, tabletop, tablets you name it. We grew out of the simple minded thinking we where use to seeing in films such as Revenge of the Nerds. We helped make gaming more than just an average hobby, we helped it bloom into an empire. Twitch took after that, but before it could eventually leap and take the gamble on a chance to becoming what it is today, it had to have been motivated, That’s why The Chill Bros for a few of us, will always hold a warm place in our hearts. The community that truly shook up gaming and made a company abandon the streaming site it first envisioned and dive into the world of Geek Culture, leading to a whole new site, a whole new start. Twitch TV


Being a part of Twitch and Justin TV for the last 7 to 8 years has left me feeling a lot like Solid Snake, old, beaten and whispering I’ve seent sum shit to anyone who will listen, as they circle around me and make there way onto the bus, as I yet again forget to ask for some spare change. So as you pay your fare and sit down, making your way back home on that old hobo urine smelling bus, I leave you with a Big Ups and a Fuck you! as we remember, the underdog, the forgotten, Epic Headphones Dude, The true unsung hero of this tale, RIP The Dream Fuq Bois. Moral of the story? EAT A DICK GATTS!

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